How long is forever?
by Lokitha29
Summary: Some things can not be changed no matter how hard you try. Starfire learned it the hard way. Seeing happen what she feared most and could not avoid. N \ A: Hey I was absent for a long time and this is the first story that I write in a lot, I hope you like it. Any suggestion or opinion is well received. One-shot or not? English is not my first language he he


It was inevitable, the roads, no matter what they were, drove us indifferent to the same end. We fought against it for years but in the end, destiny always wins.

 _\- Ready. -_ It is almost depressing the fact that years lived fit so easily in a couple of boxes and suitcases. So many memories, good, bad, all locked up now.

I feel nervous in a way that I can't explain, this was my first home, and now they are just empty walls, I remember how impossible it seemed to take separate paths when we were younger and naive.

I tried, tried with all my strength to be the glue that kept us together. I worked so hard, I gave everything I could give and even then it was not enough. So exhausted of them, I just let go of the rope that held us and let us fall, I already knew, I had seen it with my own eyes years ago during a mission. The future could not be changed. I could not change it.

I should have noticed before, I guess I was blinded by optimism. I should have noticed when Victor was invited to join the League. He was the first to leave. I try to keep in touch for a few months, the messages just stopped being frequent and then they just stopped. I foolishly hoped it was something temporary or casual, too much work to communicate.

It was difficult to adapt to not see him more by the Tower, Garfield was definitely the one who had the worst, quietest, most static, he was no longer who he used to be. Shortly after he left the Tower, the Doomed Patrol needed him or that said _"I trusted you, you can handle it without me around here"_ and only then, he left. Of course, He was lying. He would never admit that he was running from her. Of the words she said before breaking up with him.

Raven, who was more a sister than my own blood. Always trying not to feel, even when the relationship between the two began. She was scared, I know. She was always afraid of losing control if she risked expressing and letting her emotions free. Gar stayed by his side, months, years; but it did not work, it did not work. He wore out and left when he had the chance. A year later, she also left following the road to Nueva Azarath where the purified souls of the old monks lived again, _"I need to find the guide to keep out the influence of my father, only in New Azarath I will be able to do it"_ and that was all.

Only Richard and I are left. But it was not like that for a long time, eventually we moved away. He went from mission to mission in different cities. I did not know how to feel about it, I loved him of course. However, Does he loved me? The barrier that he built throughout his life was difficult to destroy. It took time for him to open up to me. I remember it as if it had been yesterday. Oh X'hal, how I wish it had been yesterday and still was ...

It was a few weeks after returning from the mission in Tokyo. I watched the sunset next to him. We talked about unimportant things, admiring the panorama, holding hands. He kissed me, _"Robin"_ whispered. _"It's Richard"_ he said. I did not understand at the beginning, of course. _"My real name is Richard, but my family called me Dick". He_ smiled as he said it, remembering good old times maybe. _"Oh."_ I smiled too. _"It's a pretty name, Dick."_ Then he kissed me again.

It was the beginning, the real beginning of "us". We speak for nights in a row of our pasts, of happy times, of painful ones. Of the losses that we had to live, we shared the past pain and we were able to heal each other. He talked about his life with Bruce, the relationship between the two was not simple, I still think it is not. Despite the ups and downs he knew, and he told me a long time ago, that Bruce saw him as a son, even if he did not show it in the most obvious way, he was always there, vigilant in case he needed it, even when He left Gotham. He also spoke of his "brothers" so different from each other, almost always in disagreement, but still being the closest thing to a family. Jason, the black sheep, rebellious to the bone. Tim, the detective who loves books, technology and coffee, who needs more hours of rest. Damian, calculating and sarcastic as only he can be. Months later I could see it when I met them at a special dinner. They were good moments, they will always live in my mind and my heart.

I talked about my family too, my parents whom I loved too much and losing them destroyed me, my sister, that although she hated me and betrayed me more than once, she was still my family and I loved her in spite of everything. My little brother the spoiled who I could not see grow up. I missed them too much, I still miss them. Despite that, it was with the Titans that I really understood what it was like to be part of a family.

- _It's already getting dark_. - Did I really spend so much time? I got lost in my mind and memories and it's already late. I should go now.

The boxes are not so heavy when lifted. _"How sad"._ He must have left already, he had a job in Bludhaven or maybe it was in Steel City, I don't know. It doesn't matter anymore.

My last tour of the corridors, darkened, empty so cold. Have they always been like this?

The main hall is deserted, Oh X'hal, I will miss this place. Oh X'hal please make me stop sobbing like a girl. I'm not a girl anymore after all. I will never forget the first real friends I had. Garfield always trying to cheer everyone up even when he was in pieces. Raven so kind and empathetic putting others first, condemned to not be able to express her emotions in freedom. Victor noble and protective, sacrificing his humanity for the common good.

 _"Richard ..."_ The first one I loved, maybe the last one too. My people are characterized by loving deeply for a long time. I loved him for a long time without saying a word, deep down I was afraid he would not feel the same. I was afraid to take a false step and lose such a precious friendship. And when it finally happened, years ago in Tokyo, I felt like I was exploding, flying, floating like never before _. "I want to be more than just a hero"_ he said and I believed him. However, in the end, he could only be a hero, there was no room for anything or anyone else.

I must not delay the inevitable anymore. It's my turn after all. _"It's cold"_ I did not think it was so cold outside. The wind is ruthless today, I don't think I can fly like that. It will have to be in the traditional way. Walking.

I cann't avoid turning for the last time, the Tower lies implacable and gray, it looks almost desolate, even without having damage to its structure.

 _"Oh ... He''s still there ..."_ His silhouette in front of his bedroom window is the last thing I see before leaving. Somehow it is correct; He was the one I saw first when I arrived on Earth, it makes sense that he is the one I last saw before I left.

 _"Goodbye Dick"_

It's ... it's time to move on, wherever that is.


End file.
